Because...
Friday evening, when I sat down to do my Saturday 9 post and visit everyone's blogs and comment, I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm or bear the thought of all the time it takes to visit and comment on everyone's post. Not one little bit. Surely there are better ways to spend my time?
I was actually on the verge of deleting the blog and calling it quits. I've been blogging in one form or another for 20 years! I don't know the exact date, but the anniversary is somewhere within a few weeks of today, give or take.
I've blogged (on that very first blog) to keep the youth group I was leading at the time updated on activities. I've blogged to connect with others in youth ministry. I've blogged to get through some of the hardest periods of my life. I've blogged to share some of the happiest times. I've blogged by name. I've blogged anonymously. I've blogged when no one read what I wrote and I blogged when lots of people liked what I wrote. I've blogged of deeper things and of shallow fluff. I've blogged about godly things and some not so godly things. I've blogged meme after meme.
In all that blogging what I don't feel like I've ever found is my true voice. Oh, there have been hints of it here and there, but I have been all over the place. I think I have bloggers ADHD. My blogs serve a purpose for a while, but then just sort of fade away. I have tended to change blogs each time my life changed direction, my circumstances changed, or when I got bored.
I long to be one of the big time bloggers, one of the popular girls, with hundreds or even thousands of followers, but unless the Lord's got a plan I don't know about, that's not me. I'm too scattered to pull it all together and keep it there. Plus, if I'm honest, as an introvert the sheer effort of maintaining that kind of community would completely overwhelm me.
As I sat there staring at the screen, thinking about walking away, I kept thinking about how much I would miss it...miss the friends I have made and know only through blogging and Facebook. I would miss having a place to share my thoughts and life and get wonderful encouragement and advice.
I can't delete the blog and I can't walk away. I am thinking and praying about ways to change it.
- The memes probably have to go. I'm terribly compulsive about them. I could do a meme, but I don't HAVE to.
- I need to stop trying to be one of the cool girls and just be me. Dorky, nerdy, ME!
- I don't need to post every day.
- I do need to post only about what I am passionate about
- God
- family
- books
- patriotism
- cooking
- thrifting
- antiques
- politics (maybe)
- etc.
*****
Prayer Request: I'm posting this Sunday evening because I have to be at my daughter's at 7:00 tomorrow morning to stay with the grandchildren. She is having a large, infected cyst removed from her breast. Please say a prayer they can get it all out and that it can be closed and not have to heal as an open wound. It would be much appreciated.
**UPDATE** Megan's surgery went well and she is home. The wound is stitched shut on the inside and glued on the outside. It's about 3-inches long. She's sleeping and I still have the kids with me and will until their daddy wakes up (he works midnight shift). Then I'm not sure what will happen. She is not supposed to be alone for 24 hours so either my mom or I will have to spend the night at her house, I guess.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. That's one health issue off her long list.
Oh Stacy, how I wish I'd have met you years ago! Before I discovered my authentic voice, I was all over the place, searching for a home amongst friends I'd not yet met. Lifting my prayers now for Megan's successful surgery
ReplyDeleteThanks, Myra.
DeleteI hope you continue with your blog. I enjoy what you post and I enjoy when you visit with me. I have been blogging for over 20 years too and I still have my website. Every year I say I will let it go, but it has so much history there. I am able to put pictures here that I have taken from my webhome. I will keep your daughter in prayer. Oh, I have to deal with ADD too!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the prayers, Susan. I haven't kept most of my blogs, though I now wish I had. Well, a couple of them. I have taken breaks before, but I can't seem to walk away completely. I don't know if I ever will.
DeleteI fully understand, Stacy...keeping your daughter in prayer.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteHi Stacy:
ReplyDeleteI hope you continue your blog.
I enjoy your posts and the comments you make on my blog, however if you must
discontinue your blog, I definitely understand and will miss you.
Have a good day!
https://gloriasretiredlife.blogspot.com/
Praying for Megan's surgery to be successful!
DeleteThank you for the kind words and prayers, Gloria.
DeleteHi Stacy. Prayers for your daughter. I hope you stay in blogland but I do understand getting burned out with it. Have a good week and please let us know how your daughter's surgery goes.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deb.
DeletePraying for your daughter. I can understand your feelings about blogging. I've considered quitting several times, but so far have stuck it out. I don't want to lose the friends I have made and it's probably as close to a journal as I'll ever get. I keep thinking when I retire later this year, I'll have more time for blogging and hopefully will do it more often and better than I am now. I'm not a writer and I know it, but I don't think I want to completely give up on it either. Time will tell. I'm hoping you won't quit because I enjoy reading your blog, but I also know we all need to do what we need to do.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers. I do keep a journal...always have. Those are all my deepest thoughts, though, not so much life in general like the blog. Thanks for the encouragement.
DeleteI know what you mean about blogging. I've almost deleted mine many times. That's why I don't post or comment very often, it's too time consuming. I only post when I've got something near and dear to talk about or just wanna way howdy. One thing I do like about having a WordPress blog is one can "like" the post and not have to comment. I get that. Being with family and friends is much more important. And, here, it's feeling like Spring! Yay! Time to get off the 'puter, be outside and have some fun.
ReplyDeleteY'all be safe and stay warm. xx
Oh, I like that feature! Blogger should get it. I have a Wordpress account from some blog or another, but lately it won't let me sign in to comment on WP blogs so I don't know what's up with it.
DeleteI hope you never go away - I would miss you too much!
ReplyDeleteI get the struggle though. I have to tell myself that everything changes & your blog can change with you. You knew know - new changes can make you into that big time full time career blogger :) #thedream ... & if not, you still have your friends who love hearing from you whenever you post :)
Aw, thank you. I'm probably never going away. The posting just may not be as regular. At least for now.
DeleteAs you know, I have deleted my blog, and I am no longer blogging at all, don't even visit very many blogs anymore. Originally, I quit blogging because of the ugliness and hate spewing forth during 2020. But, I've realized that I like not blogging, not being tied to the computer. Back in the 1990's, I had 2 little kids, and I seemed to have more time than I do now as an empty nester. The difference is that I wasn't bogged down by the computer then. I had time for the things that really mattered. So, I'm the voice telling you that it really is okay to stop blogging. If you enjoy writing (as I do), keep a handwritten journal. Your future descendants are more likely to read a journal than to read a blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Patti, thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. I get that thing about having less free time because of the computer. I've been doing a bit better about that, but I don't know, I guess maybe it's the meme thing where I feel like I HAVE to visit everyone and comment...and sometimes it's just the most mundane stuff. I do keep journals and write in them almost daily. I always have. That won't change. Just going to play things by ear for now.
DeleteI enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteI do not read blogs. that are political because all Democrats are not non Christians and all Republicans are not Christian...I am offended when people presume to know my beliefs...I enjoy blogs about books and crafts and recipes...Bible studies...I prefer those who avoid fighting families and too much information... I like blogs that are consistent and on certain days of the week...honest and forthcoming...yours is one of a few blogs I read...spending fifteen minutes here or there blogging is fun...thank you for the enjoyment you bring...prayers...you might do your blog on discovering a new family and about your Bible studies...two topics that are intriguing
I am so glad you didn't just delete the blog and disappear! I count you as such a sweet friend here. One I would like to meet in person some day!! Be yourself, Stacy. I love you just the way you are!! xo
ReplyDeleteOh, Stacy, I am late to read this, and I am so glad you aren't going away. Please, like Terri said above, "Be yourself, Stacy, I love you just the way you are"....that says it best. Be who you are, honest to the core...share your heart with us...whatever you feel like doing is fine. I personally don't want a long list of followers because then I feel obligated to keep up with all of them, and I can't do it. I don't have to blog every day, but I realize that if I don't blog often enough people will go away. But that's okay...I just like to have a place to be "me". I think some of my blogging friends know me better than my in person friends (because my in person friends don't read my blog usually). We are here for each other, good times and bad times...silly or sad. Just be YOU. Praying for Megan today. That must have been a really bad cyst. I am off to read your today's post, because that's where I started and saw that I had missed this one, so I wanted to see what you were saying here before I could understand that one. Take care...we love you. Be YOU. That's who I enjoy knowing...the real YOU!! Love ya, Pam
ReplyDelete